He had me at Hello

I volunteer as a Long-term Care Ombudsman, which means I visit area nursing homes and ensure residents’ rights are being upheld. For a time, I was worried that I would have to quit and this is an example of why I am so grateful that I didn’t.

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“Hello.”

The greeting was faint and came from somewhere behind me. I turned to find a man sitting by the wall, his shoulders hunched over as though every decade he had lived was somehow pressing down on him. His wheelchair glinted in the sun coming through the window and his large eyes watched mine as I made my way over to him.

“Hello”, he said.

“Hello, how are you feeling today?”, I asked, with a smile and as much cheer as I could pack into that little six word phrase.

“Hello”, he said again. “Where have you been?”

I struggled to make out his words and I could tell from the disconnect behind his eyes that he was suffering from dementia, maybe Alzheimer’s. It was very possible that he saw in me someone he once knew, someone he still missed. I experience this a lot in the nursing homes…older people often can’t remember if they have eaten lunch but relive the moments of their younger selves vividly.

“What have you been doing?”, he asked, his eyes searching mine as I felt him mentally plead with me to understand what he was laboring so hard to say.

“I came here to visit you and make sure you’re okay. Is there anything you need?” My voice was loud, succinct, determined to make it through that foggy haze he lived in. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m working on this”, his hand gestured towards something on the table, “but it is hard.”

“Well, you just take your time. I know you can do it.” I smiled at him again and made my way across the room to continue on my rounds.

He called after me. “You’re a… You have pretty… ” He struggled for the words but his right hand reached up to the side of his head. Older people often comment on my thick hair so I assumed that was the compliment he was trying to pay me. I walked back, took his hand and squeezed it gently. “Thank you. I’ll see you again on my next visit.”

As I walked out of the room, one of the staff asked me if I had actually had a conversation with the man in the corner. When I said yes, she said, “Oh my. You must have something special. He hasn’t spoken to anyone in weeks. He must really like you.”

I smiled and teared up simultaneously. When I turned back to wave goodbye, his eyes were still on me.

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I’m sure there is some life lesson to impart here; some pithy observation to make. But tonight I don’t have the words…just this amazing feeling. I am going to savor it.