It is worth it

A blog is a great place to store memories, isn’t it? If you take the time to record those special moments and work really hard at capturing what you’re feeling in words, you can always return to your blog, read what you’ve written and be transported right back into that same emotional state. A blog is like a verbal time machine.

And sometimes? All of that sucks.

Today, my answering machine held the message I was hoping wouldn’t come.

“Hi, Debra? This is name of volunteer coordinator at the Center. I wanted to wish you a happy new year and, uh, also? Would you consider coming back? We really need help with the nursing home visits and some of the seniors have asked about you.”

Damn, damn, damnity damn.

I have been struggling with this decision since September when I gave notice. Did I want to stop visiting the seniors, making sure their rights were being upheld, and seeing to it that they had at least one visitor each month? No.

Did I desperately need a break from the emotional toll it was taking? Oh my, yes.

I am currently in the middle of training at a new organization, volunteering in a completely different capacity. Part of the reason I chose this new organization was because when I met the volunteer coordinator and told her what I used to do at the Center, the first thing she said in reply was, “I promise, we will not be quite as hard on your heart.” It was like having salve applied to a very tender and aching part of my soul to hear those words.

Volunteering with people in need is rewarding and fulfilling beyond measure. I receive much more than it would ever be possible for me to give. If I had to choose one thing as my passion, my volunteer work would be it.

But that said? It hurts. It is painful. It is emotionally draining. It can be frustrating and depressing.

It is the best experience in the world.

I sat here for a few minutes after listening to that message, trying to think of what to say when I call her back. I would be well within my rights to politely tell her that I am involved with another organization now and wouldn’t be returning. In fact, I was pretty sure that I would say that.

But.

Then I read this post, this post, this post, this post, and this post.

And I remembered.

Yes, a blog is a great place to store memories. If you take the time to record those special moments and work really hard at capturing what you’re feeling in words, you can always return to your blog, read what you’ve written and be transported right back into that same emotional state. A blog is like a verbal time machine.

And sometimes? That is exactly what you need.