I heard an interesting story in a meeting this morning, which may or may not be true (the story, not the meeting), and if true, may or may not have happened at my company (again, the story, not the meeting). It is all very mysterious. In fact, picture wavy lines through this whole post, as if it were a dream sequence in a television program. Do it. I can’t afford special effects and you have perfectly good imaginations just rotting idling there. Thank you.
In the meeting (I know, this part is factual, but keep the wavy lines because they are kind of trippy, which is cool), we were discussing how to recognize and reward employees using non-financial means, because while we understand the importance of keeping people motivated and appreciating effort that goes above and beyond, it is hard to justify any cash expenditures these days. It sounds like a great idea, coming up with ways to recognize people without spending money, but there is always someone who can muck it up.
Cue the story (Which now that I think about it, is not about recognizing people with non-financial means at all so I don’t know why it was even told at the meeting. Don’t I feel stupid. Well, I have come too far to turn back now, so if you can imagine wavy lines, you can surely imagine this post has a coherent theme. Thank you again.)
And now, cue the story.
The story: An employee was soon to be celebrating a major service anniversary milestone (actual number of years withheld to protect the innocent, where innocent equals me.) (Stop laughing.) with the company. Even in our corporation, where people tend to stick around longer than body odor in a taxi cab, this was a very large number of years and a big deal. The manager of this employee did some background research into the employee’s work history and found that not only had this employee worked for the company for all those many years, this person had also always displayed a great work ethic and productivity level, and, the real kicker, had never missed a day of work due to illness.
Think of that. Decades (and decades) (See how I’m getting the point across without actually saying anything? ‘Tis a gift.) of work with only holidays and vacation days to look forward to. I don’t know about you but I don’t mind a nasty cold or minor flu bug now and then. It is a day or two off work and you lose five pounds. Win-win.
Anyway, the manager was very excited and wanted to have a very nice recognition ceremony (read: cake) (Great, now I want cake.) for this employee when the special day arrived. However, given that we understand human nature and that people do not have cookie-cutter personalities (Well, crap, now I want cookies. Way to go.), it is our practice to ask the employee what type of recognition, if any, they want. When the manager asked if the employee would like to have a special ceremony or party, this particular employee responded that it would be appreciated if no special fuss was made. This hardworking, dedicated employee would like to observe the anniversary of decades upon decades on the job as just another day.
Well, this was not good enough for the manager. All those years of unfailing devotion to the company deserved fanfare and hoopla and banners, oh my! When the employee unwittingly walked into the fanfare-hoopla-bannered ceremony, it was clearly visible that the whole spectacle was very uncomfortable (There may have been blanching or a nervous tic that developed, I’m not sure, that part of the story was fuzzy.) However, being a good corporate minion, the employee soldiered through the event, mustering a weak smile and lukewarm appreciation.
The next day, the employee called in sick.
Coincidence or silent revolt? Can it be called a coincidence when we all saw it coming? I think not.
You can dissolve the wavy lines now.
The moral of the story: Listen to people. When they tell you what they want, what they need, who they are, BELIEVE THEM. Someone else’s achievement or sorrow or special day is just that, someone else’s. It is never, not once, about you.
The sub-moral of the story: Gimme some cake. Or (read: and) cookies.
