I cannot believe I am even going to write this, let alone write it in a public forum, but in the interest of total honesty and wanting to get that silly cake picture moved down the page, I am going to. Are you ready?
I went to Wal-Mart today.
I know, I know. I have posted before about my loathing for Wal-Mart and how I would never grace its doors again but let me tell you what happened. I cannot justify it but at least I can give you the details.
Today started at 2:30am, as have most of the days in the past few weeks. To say my sleep schedule is off would be quite the understatement. Anyway, I was up at 2:30am and could not go to work until 6:30am. By 4am, I had cleaned the kitchen, gotten ready for work, and written in my journal. By 4:02am, I was climbing the walls.
Yes, it was 4:02am and I was already bored.
I thought about what else I could do to pass the time and considered more cleaning but I was already dressed in my work clothes and yeah, no. Then I considered more writing but I was not in the mood for that either. So I decided I would do my weekly grocery shopping, fill the gas tank, and run by the pharmacy before work. It should not be a problem to get all that done, especially since from the looks of things on the streets, I was the only one out and about.
I pulled up to my favorite supermarket, picked up my reusable tote bags, locked the vehicle and headed inside. Or, I should say, tried to head inside. The doors were locked. The lights were on, people were inside, but I was not allowed to enter. A very nice kid came and opened the door and said the store did not open until 6am. When did this happen? When did my 24/7 except for six hours overnight Sunday store begin closing at night?
I really need to get out more.
So there I was, getting close to 4:30am and no supermarket. I briefly thought about heading to East Peoria and picking up my pharmacy stuff and groceries all in one trip but when I tried to calculate the time it would take to drive there, and drive back, put everything away, and then drive back to Peoria for work… it just did not seem feasible or very eco-friendly. Since I was on the right side of town for the gas station, I decided to go ahead and stop there while I determined my next move. Driving to the gas station, I saw the Wal-Mart sign.
Of course. The evil giant never sleeps.
As I filled the tank with gasoline I fought with myself over whether or not I could actually go to Wal-Mart and purchase anything. It kind of made me feel sick. But sitting around for two hours waiting to go to work seemed pretty wasteful. I was torn. Finally, my need for effective time management overtook my personal mores and I went to Wal-Mart and did my food shopping.
I must say, if you ever want to experience Wal-Mart in its best light, going at 4:30am is probably as good as it gets. Or if you like scaring the bejeezus out of people, try wheeling a cart around the corner of an aisle where a stocker has been working alone for probably a good four hours and watch them jump out of their skins. And at 4:30am? You can do that on EVERY aisle. Good times.
The next time I do not know how to fill two hours in the morning, I will stick to writing. The only semi-proud moment from all of this was the fact that Wal-Mart did not even enter my mind until I saw the sign. But that is sort of like Winona saying she did not intend to shoplift until she saw the pretty clothes. WE ARE BOTH SICK.
Come back next week, when I will regale you with my experience of clubbing a baby seal and making it into a pot pie. I mean, honestly, who knows what I am capable of doing at this point?
