Finding the way home

This weekend I had cause to travel back to the city in which I used to live. To give a bit of background, I lived there for 32 years and the last six months of that was spent commuting between my new condo here and my old job there, five days a week. The distance between the two cities is just around 90 minutes.

In other words, I should know this area of central Illinois well.

So, tell me, why was I unable to remember how to get back to my former hometown on Saturday? I knew there was a way to get there through the back roads, those unbeaten paths between small country villages, but for the life of me, I could not remember how to do it. I sat at the intersection in one small town for as long as I dared, staring at the road ahead, knowing that was the beginning of that back road journey but I could not remember the way. I was scared to move forward because I could not picture what came next. I did not think I would remember which landmark to look for, which country road was the right one to turn on to lead me toward my destination.

So instead of going straight, I turned right, went the familiar path, the one that would take me by my mother’s house, and if followed long enough, would take me to my father’s. From that road, I could find my way to familiar main thoroughfares and find my way to the place I used to live. It cost me 30 minutes on my journey but I felt more secure doing it.

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Four hours later, I left my former hometown and started the journey back here, to the place I now live. I was traveling the way I had come when I saw the sign for an intersection ahead. Suddenly, I knew how to get here, using the formerly familiar back roads route. I turned right at the intersection, following the road through sleepy farming communities and dense wooded areas. The path unfolded in front of me as it did in my mind’s eye. I could see what lay ahead before I was upon it.

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I have never subscribed to the notion that home is a place. Home to me is a feeling, one of contentment, security, love and warmth. I have looked my entire life for my home and only recently have felt like I may have found it. I will be able to live anywhere and be comfortable but that feeling of home will be carried with me, in my heart and in the relationships I form.

The road to home is not always familiar but it is there. You just have to find that intersection and turn; give your heart to someone and love. Then, you will find your way home.

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