And this is where I gush a bit about volunteering

Last night, I finished the volunteer training that I needed to take immediately to start working. And I start working February 26. *big smile*

If I can give one more plug for volunteering? Just do it. If you have a tendency towards melancholy, do it. If you have lost faith in the goodness of others, do it. If you want to understand your part in the big picture, do it.

You will not be disappointed. And if you are, then you are working with the wrong organization so go find a different one. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of civic, social, or faith-based organizations in your community — no matter where you live. You will meet caring, hardworking people who want to do good for others. How can that not make you feel better about life? Just do it.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I still have much more training to take but the rest will be to round out my knowledge of the organization, not particularly specific to the job I’ll be doing. But who knows? The more I learn about all the different areas, the more I want to do, so I might be in an entirely different place by next year. I think that growth opportunity appeals to me the most. With this particular organization, volunteers are able to rise through the ranks and actually head the departments. They rely very little on paid staff so volunteers can move around the organization, contributing wherever their talents, experience, skills, and training are suited.

I love that part.

This is the first organization that has had that opportunity. Most of them are designated roles and you perform that role and clock out for the day. With this group, people are welcome to work all over the organization and aren’t restricted to one role. Of course, it is a lot like taking on a second career, if you let it. But the satisfaction of making a difference to people in need and the sense of community that you feel with all your fellow volunteers is even more rewarding than a paycheck.

Just do it.

I can hear what you’re thinking. But I don’t have time. What will I do with my kids? I don’t want to work directly with people in need, they smell funny.

Oh you. First of all, you don’t need much time at all. EVERY organization relies on volunteers and is more than happy to work around your schedule (most of them anyway — find the right one for you). Depending on the tasks you choose to do, ask if your children are allowed on site. Don’t be offended if they aren’t…there are usually legal/insurance or privacy reasons why they can’t be…but what better example could you set for your children than taking a few hours a month away from them to help others? What a huge life lesson for them to learn in that short span of time. As far as working directly with people, if that isn’t your thing, that’s not a problem. There are probably even more opportunities for volunteers behind the scenes.

Whatever your talent or skill, there is a place for you to use it, giving back to the community. Marketing, graphic design, public relations, computer programming, LAN/WAN support, communications, accounting, legal, nutrition, photography, landscaping, painting, basic maintenance on buildings or automobiles, child care, teaching, organization skills…it all plays a part in these organizations. There are probably hundreds more that I’m missing. So what can you do? What do you like to do? How can you use that in your area?

A few of you might be thinking, “But I don’t know how to do anything. How can I help?” Aha! Can you answer the telephone? Sort and store donations (clothes, food, furniture, toiletries, first aid supplies, etc.)? Make photocopies? Staple papers together? Stuff envelopes? Yes you can. And someone, somewhere, needs your help. I promise.

Do you have questions? Need encouragement or advice or a swift kick in the butt? Send me an email. I can do that too.

It is worth it

A blog is a great place to store memories, isn’t it? If you take the time to record those special moments and work really hard at capturing what you’re feeling in words, you can always return to your blog, read what you’ve written and be transported right back into that same emotional state. A blog is like a verbal time machine.

And sometimes? All of that sucks.

Today, my answering machine held the message I was hoping wouldn’t come.

“Hi, Debra? This is name of volunteer coordinator at the Center. I wanted to wish you a happy new year and, uh, also? Would you consider coming back? We really need help with the nursing home visits and some of the seniors have asked about you.”

Damn, damn, damnity damn.

I have been struggling with this decision since September when I gave notice. Did I want to stop visiting the seniors, making sure their rights were being upheld, and seeing to it that they had at least one visitor each month? No.

Did I desperately need a break from the emotional toll it was taking? Oh my, yes.

I am currently in the middle of training at a new organization, volunteering in a completely different capacity. Part of the reason I chose this new organization was because when I met the volunteer coordinator and told her what I used to do at the Center, the first thing she said in reply was, “I promise, we will not be quite as hard on your heart.” It was like having salve applied to a very tender and aching part of my soul to hear those words.

Volunteering with people in need is rewarding and fulfilling beyond measure. I receive much more than it would ever be possible for me to give. If I had to choose one thing as my passion, my volunteer work would be it.

But that said? It hurts. It is painful. It is emotionally draining. It can be frustrating and depressing.

It is the best experience in the world.

I sat here for a few minutes after listening to that message, trying to think of what to say when I call her back. I would be well within my rights to politely tell her that I am involved with another organization now and wouldn’t be returning. In fact, I was pretty sure that I would say that.

But.

Then I read this post, this post, this post, this post, and this post.

And I remembered.

Yes, a blog is a great place to store memories. If you take the time to record those special moments and work really hard at capturing what you’re feeling in words, you can always return to your blog, read what you’ve written and be transported right back into that same emotional state. A blog is like a verbal time machine.

And sometimes? That is exactly what you need.

It’s like kismet or something

Have you ever had one of those situations when it feels like all the stars are aligned in your favor and whatever you’re attempting was just meant to be? I know, they don’t come around often so you may not remember the last time it happened to you, but you remember that feeling, right?

I had one of those days today.

But it didn’t start out that way. It hit early and it hit hard. I think it was before 9 am when I called Denise in near tears. I was so angry and frustrated and aaagh! that I couldn’t even tell her what had happened. It was just enough to say, “I hate this.” She understood.

Well, that was the highlight of the day. It steadily went downhill after that. At 3 pm, I was about as low as I could go without bottoming out completely. I was sitting in my cubicle, completely stressed out and trying to talk myself out of a massive depressive episode, when I remembered my touchstone word of 2008: focus. I needed to shift the focus off me and on to someone or something that deserved attention. (It turns out that those touchstones don’t expire with the calendar. You can call on them anytime.)

So I called the first charitable organization on my list, of the three I have planned to contact this week, and asked for the person in charge of volunteers. Within seconds, I was connected with a very nice person who said she would love to talk to me about opportunities to volunteer…and by the way, was I free at 5:30 tonight? She was leading a volunteer orientation session for two hours this evening and I was welcome to come and learn more about what they had to offer.

I immediately said yes and at 5:30 I pulled into the parking lot of their building. Right across from me was a woman, a decade or so older than I, also getting out of her car and heading into the building. I said hello and asked her how she was, thinking she was another volunteer wanna-be. I should add here that we have had freezing drizzle most of the afternoon and the parking lot was a sheet of ice. She looked a little unsteady on her feet so I made sure I walked close to her so I could grab her if she started to slip. (Although, my track record for walking on ice isn’t stellar.)

It turned out that she was an employee of the organization (which was a good thing because I needed her to badge me into the building) and once inside, she helped me find the room I needed. As the volunteer coordinator welcomed me, the woman I walked in with said, “She’s a keeper. She made sure I got into the building alright. We need more people who care like that.” (That made me feel good although I was thinking, “Yeah, lady, you think that but if I had started to slip out there, I would have grabbed you and thrown you under me to cushion the fall. Oh yeah, I care…about me! Bwahahaha!” Luckily, my filter was on and I didn’t say any of that out loud.)

Well, then she went on her way and the volunteers heard the whole spiel about the organization, what types of volunteer jobs there are and how many training courses are required for each. When we finished, the volunteer coordinator talked with each of us individually to learn what sorts of things interested us.

My first choice? Would be working for the woman with whom I walked into the building. I didn’t know that when I picked it but as soon as I said it, the volunteer coordinator just beamed and said, “I think you’re a cinch for that. You just impressed the supervisor over that area.” (I start training Saturday, as a matter of fact.)

And that was another thing. They are just starting a new cycle of training so I can get started immediately. I should have all my training for this first choice job by the first week of February. Sweet!

The volunteer coordinator also wants to get me into all the other training sessions they offer so that I can become an expert on the organization and its services. Her goal is to have me go out into the community and provide instruction and PR-type presentations. There are training and presentation opportunities in about every department there so they always need people who can do that sort of thing. I think that is my favorite part of my ‘real’ job and here I could do that in my volunteer life too!

So see, everything has just fallen into place. If I hadn’t changed my focus and decided to make that call, I would have missed the orientation, I would have had to wait until April or something to start training, I wouldn’t have met that woman in the parking lot and I might not have impressed her and the volunteer coordinator enough to get two dream volunteer opportunities with my first-choice charitable organization. All my stars aligned.

Sometimes it pays to have a bad day.

He had me at Hello

I volunteer as a Long-term Care Ombudsman, which means I visit area nursing homes and ensure residents’ rights are being upheld. For a time, I was worried that I would have to quit and this is an example of why I am so grateful that I didn’t.

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“Hello.”

The greeting was faint and came from somewhere behind me. I turned to find a man sitting by the wall, his shoulders hunched over as though every decade he had lived was somehow pressing down on him. His wheelchair glinted in the sun coming through the window and his large eyes watched mine as I made my way over to him.

“Hello”, he said.

“Hello, how are you feeling today?”, I asked, with a smile and as much cheer as I could pack into that little six word phrase.

“Hello”, he said again. “Where have you been?”

I struggled to make out his words and I could tell from the disconnect behind his eyes that he was suffering from dementia, maybe Alzheimer’s. It was very possible that he saw in me someone he once knew, someone he still missed. I experience this a lot in the nursing homes…older people often can’t remember if they have eaten lunch but relive the moments of their younger selves vividly.

“What have you been doing?”, he asked, his eyes searching mine as I felt him mentally plead with me to understand what he was laboring so hard to say.

“I came here to visit you and make sure you’re okay. Is there anything you need?” My voice was loud, succinct, determined to make it through that foggy haze he lived in. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m working on this”, his hand gestured towards something on the table, “but it is hard.”

“Well, you just take your time. I know you can do it.” I smiled at him again and made my way across the room to continue on my rounds.

He called after me. “You’re a… You have pretty… ” He struggled for the words but his right hand reached up to the side of his head. Older people often comment on my thick hair so I assumed that was the compliment he was trying to pay me. I walked back, took his hand and squeezed it gently. “Thank you. I’ll see you again on my next visit.”

As I walked out of the room, one of the staff asked me if I had actually had a conversation with the man in the corner. When I said yes, she said, “Oh my. You must have something special. He hasn’t spoken to anyone in weeks. He must really like you.”

I smiled and teared up simultaneously. When I turned back to wave goodbye, his eyes were still on me.

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I’m sure there is some life lesson to impart here; some pithy observation to make. But tonight I don’t have the words…just this amazing feeling. I am going to savor it.

And then something went right

For about a month now, I have been incredibly upset about something but didn’t feel I could blog about it. I have a desire to keep the really negative stuff off my blog, especially when it pertains to someone else. I’m not trying to sugar coat my life but I also don’t want to, in any way, make someone think badly of someone or something just because I’m upset. I’m especially mindful of this when it comes to my employer and my volunteer work. Just because I have a rough day or something doesn’t go my way, I wouldn’t want to give anyone the impression that these are not good companies, because THEY ARE. Which is probably why I get so upset sometimes…because I know how good they can be.

But now that things have worked out, I’m going to share. And I have faith that you will not interpret my overreacting, hormonal, girly reflex as anything other than that.

Anyway, about a month ago, I received a letter telling me that the State had changed the training requirements for Long-term Care Ombudsmen (that allows me to visit long-term care/nursing facilities and make sure residents’ rights are being upheld). It would be mandatory for all the volunteers to be retrained in order to remain current with the regulations. And, oh yes, the four training sessions would all be held during the day.

Ahem. {raises hand} I have a day job. Remember?

The letter said nothing about options. It didn’t say, “Here’s our preliminary schedule but we’ll work with you if you can’t make these dates.” It didn’t say, “We know some of you have jobs during the day so we’ll be scheduling additional training dates on the weekends/in the evenings.” No. It just said, “Be here or else.”

What was I supposed to think?

Well, I’ll tell you what I thought. I thought how dare they treat someone who has given two years of her life to this program, an UNPAID VOLUNTEER mind you, so poorly. I thought how on earth will I say goodbye to all those lovely seniors that I have grown to know and love? And since my self-esteem sometimes teeters on the edge, I also thought that I must have been a lousy volunteer and they didn’t schedule the training when I could take it because THEY REALLY WANT ME TO QUIT.

And then I got angry. I don’t get angry often. In fact, other than this week when everything seemed to come to a head and I am subsequently snapping at EVERYBODY, I can’t remember the last time I was truly mad about something. Who needs that stinking job anyway? They don’t want me? I don’t want them! Take that!

But inside I was really really sad. Like, tears running down my face whenever I stopped to think about it, sad. I just wasn’t ready to let go.

So I called into the Center today and left a message (I can never get a live person when I call back into the office) that said I was not going to be able to attend the training and I suppose that meant I would need to quit and is there a process for that? because I’m going to need to turn in my badge and paperwork and whatever else you turn in when you leave {sobs}.

About three hours later, the trainer called me back and said yes, they had assumed I wouldn’t be able to make the training and that’s okay. She will call me after everyone else has completed the training and will schedule some evening training sessions for me. We really don’t want you to quit. Please don’t quit. WE NEED YOU. PLEASE.

Now, couldn’t that have been put on the letter in the first place? Even just a nice little sticky note (preferably pink, but really, any color would do) to say, “Hey, call us and we’ll work this out {smiley face}”? Instead, I had to live through a month of stomachaches and anxiety and tearful meltdowns. That really wasn’t cool.

That’s all I’m saying.